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The Status of “The Chronicles of Rico” Now that My Daughter Has Been Born

Kaiya and I a few minutes after she was born.

My daughter was born on November 3rd, 2010.  Many of you who have been following my escapades for the past few months may recall me referencing my girlfriend’s pregnancy in the entries; “Lecturing My Fetus,” “Male Gynecologists Make Me Feel Awkward,” “Male Gynecologists Make Me Feel Awkward Part 2,” “Null Sehx…. uff Eenie Kinddd,” “My Daughter Hasn’t Arrived Yet, but I Already Proclaim Myself as the World’s Dumbest Dad,” and “I Would Be a Hideous Drag Queen.” Well, the baby finally arrived and I couldn’t be any happier. We named her Kaiya Kay Swafford. Being a father has been such a great experience so far.  She is so cute and is such a good little baby.  Kaiya’s arrival is the best thing that has happened to me. I am so glad to have been given the opportunity to raise such a tremendous bundle of joy (and farts.)


Not long after she was born I found out that Willow’s wife in the movie, “Willow” was named Kaiya. I wonder how many people in the future will assume that my girfriend, Krystal and I are “Willow” fanatics.  That’s ok though. I haven’t seen it in 20 years, but from what I remember, it was a pretty sweet movie. 

Willow's wife, Kaiya.

After my daugher was born, I considered shutting this site down.  In reality, I am 27 years old and am now a father of a beautiful daughter who’s life I have intentions of being a positive role model in.  I realize that some of the language and content included within some of the entries I’ve posted can be considered questionable and offensive to certain people.  In my opinion, I think it should be obvious to anyone who stumbles across this website that none of the entries are written with intentions of being serious or intellectually groundbreaking. It’s written with intentions of being funny to those who share the same sense of humor as me. I feel the need to clarify that because there have been a couple instances where someone has indicated that they don’t “get it” or missed the point entirely.  I know there are people who do not share the same sense of humor as me and the sad truth is, some people have no sense of humor at all.

If I were to say to you that I don’t care what people think of me, I would be telling you a huge lie.  I definitely care about what people think of me.  I always have and probably always will.  I don’t want people to think I’m an immature waste of space who is now a father and continues to write about silly, pointless bullshit, uses offensive language and created a character who ironically represents the epitome of idiocy (Rick “The Mullet Man” Suave.)  Although these potential perceptions bother me, I am much firmer in my belief that people should be themselves regardless of what other people think of them.  I have always been too stubborn to let social norms, peer standards, etc. influence who I am. I take pride in that considering the temptation to become a society-programmed robot sheep seems to overcome many people. With that said, “The Chronicles of Rico” will continue. I will continue to publicly disclose some of my misadventures and observations pertaining to the world as I see it and Rick “The Mullet Man” Suave is going to continue to put wear and tear on his skimpy jean shorts.  Some people may not think the posts are funny and that is fine with me. They don’t have to read it.  However, if you look down on me for maintaining the site, then well….quite frankly, you can kiss my ass (_l_) and just know that I am looking down on you for looking down on me. The fact that I have so much fun maintaining the site along with the growing amount of page views the site brings in every day (although not enough comments) also influenced my decision to keep it going. 

So continue to stop by! And thank you to those of you who are regular gawkers of “The Chronicles of Rico.”

Me holding Kaiya.

I don't know what prompted Kaiya to make this expression. Did she catch a glimpse of Rick "The Mullet Man" Suave?

Speaking of Rick “The Mullet Man” Suave, here he is saying, “I’ll be back!”