Follow Up to My Daughter Hasn’t Arrived Yet, but I am Already World’s Dumbest Dad
As some of you may recall, a few months ago I wrote an entry titled, “My Daughter Hasn’t Arrived Yet, but I Already Proclaim Myself as the World’s Dumbest Dad.” In this entry, I told the story about how I accidentally bought my unborn daughter a dog’s outfit. To me, it appeared to be a Kansas City Chiefs onesie, but in reality it was an outfit designed for a wiener dog or chihuahua. If you haven’t read that story, but want to you can do so by clicking here.
Since my daughter Kaiya was born, I have had many people jokingly ask me if the little doggy outfit fits her and as you can see below… it doesn’t.
This is a picture of me holding Kaiya and her uncle Cowboy Sheabob Squarepants holding the doggy outfit next to her. Even when she was an 8 lb 4 oz. newborn, she wouldn't have come close to fitting into that thing. She is 3 months old and 14 lbs now and the outfit dwarfs in size in comparison to her. It looks like it could pass for a burp rag, but I'll be damned if I will ever be using anything with a Kansas City Chiefs logo on it to clean spit-up or puke with.
Even if she were small enough to fit into the outfit, the holes for the arms are located where her breasts would be. A baby human could not properly fit into that thing unless they were deformed and had arms sticking out of their chest where their nipples should be. A few animals I could see fitting into this thing would be small dogs, cats, baby veloceraptors,etc.
When that fart nugget Rick "The Mullet Man" Suave heard that I had no use for the doggy outfit, he asked if he could have it. He claimed he needed it for "protection." I think he got the wrong idea when I told him it was an outfit designed for a "wiener dog."