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Ridin’ Ghetto Part 3

Some of you may know that I have been driving a yellow 2004 Dodge Neon for the past couple years. I have referenced this car in a few entries, most notably “Ridin’ Ghetto Part 2,” “These Jerkoffs Who Constantly Drive by Swimming Pools” and recently, “In the Past 2 Weeks, I Have Almost Hit 2 Cows.” Well, I don’t drive it anymore, which saddened for a short while for sentimental reasons, but I’m over it.

A couple weeks ago, I spent over $600 on framework on that car. A week later, the transmission started acting up. What kind of luck is that? So when the transmission started acting up, what did I do? I traded it in for an ultra-extravagant 2002 Ford Taurus SES with 123,000 miles on it. Ridin’ ghetto 4 life yo!

Mark my words, one of these days I will be driving a Cadillac Escalade. Chances are, the thing will have 250,000 miles on it and be decorated with rust and huge dents, but I will be driving one some day nevertheless.

Here I am, posing with my new Ford Taurus. I can't even hear the words, "Ford Taurus" without thinking of the father from "Meet the Parents" (Robert Deniro) disapproving of his daughter's fiance's (Ben Stiller) Ford Taurus. Oh well, screw that guy! I love how spacious this Taurus is. It's more baby-friendly. It also drives well so far. I hope it lasts me a couple years.

I wanted to take a professional picture of my awesome new car and send it to an automobile magazine with hopes of them posting the picture. Unfortunately, Rick "The Mullet Man" Suave was the only person I could afford to pay to be the model in the picture.

Rick wanted to be paid in Hamm's beer. Lucky for me, you can buy a 12 pack of Hamm's for $5.99.