404 Donkey Kong is Cooler than King Kong | The Chronicles of Rico
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Why Donkey Kong is WAY Cooler than King Kong

stratosphere wedding photo

Atta boy, Donkey Kong!!

Donkey Kong is WAY cooler than King Kong. And it isn’t even close.

Ya know why? Because he was able to seal the deal with the girl without falling off of a huge building like some dumbass. Sadly, King Kong wasn’t able to accomplish this.

And the pic above proves Donkey Kong’s God-given ability to work his swerve and get the girl.  Just look at that girl in Donkey Kong’s arms…verrrryy nice.

Some of you may be thinking, “well, the reason Donkey Kong didn’t fall off of a building before sealing the deal with the chick, is because he wasn’t ever actually on a huge building trying to seal the deal with the chick to begin with!!!” Well, if you thought this, I would like to cordially inform you that you are WRONG. Way to be wrong, LOSERS!!! Ya see, Donkey Kong actually married his girl on TOP of the tallest building West of the Mississippi and the tallest free-standing building IN THE WORLD. (The Stratosphere in Las Vegas in case you are wondering. Yes, I know the two posts before this one mentioned that, but for those of you who didn’t read those….)

So eat it, King Kong! Donkey Kong runs the giant gorilla show around here, big boy!!!!!!

papa suave

When my dad read this entry, he was like, "Rico is publicly pointing out his physical resemblance to Donkey Kong?!? HA! HA! HAAAAA!!! It's about freaking time he uses himself as the butt of his joke(s) instead of me!!!. And to make it clear, he didn't get his Donkey Kong similarities from MY side of the family. He's still a handsome kid though. Not to brag or anything, but all my boys are handsome kids."

Gee Dad, why you always taking your shirt off?  You didn’t HAVE to take your shirt off to make that point. Why you always gotta be actin’ all tough, homie?!?! SHEESH!!!


And then there’s Rick:

white trash nintendo

And Rick was like, "Yayyyyyy!!!!! DONKEY KONG RULEZ!!!! Wait a second, why is he THROWING the bananas?!? I want him to EAT the bananas!!! WTF, there's something wrong with this game! I can't get Donkey Kong to quit wasting bananas!!! What I wouldn't give to be able to afford a bundle of bananas right now. This is making me so hungry, I may have to go out for a late night dumpster dive!!!" Rick must have an extremely wild imagination, for Mario Kart doesn't appear to be in the game console to begin with.