Today, August 27th, 2013, a date which will live in infamy, RICO POSTED HIS 100TH POST ON HIS WEBSITE, THE CHRONICLES OF RICO!!!! WE WILL PARTY IN INEVITABLE RAGE, SO HELP US, PAPA SWAFF!!!! YEEEAAHHHHHHH BABYYYYY!!!!!!! GET SOME!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS is my 100th post and because of that, we are going to RAGE OUT, YO!!!!!! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!!!! JOIN IN!!!! LET’S FARKING PARRRRTTTTYYYYY!!!!!! WOOO-HOOO!!!! LET’S PARTY HARD, ANDREW W.K. STYLE!!!!
AHHHH YEAHHHHH!!!! Look who’s kicking this shit off???!! None other than ANDREW W.K. He looks ready to party hard… he looks ready to RAGE!!!! And he’s got Conan O’Brien and an African American bystander ready to rage as well!!! HELL YEAH!!! The party has officially begun, y’all!!!! ANDREW W.K. IN DA HOUSE!!!!!!
AHHHHH SHIT!!!! OH MY GOD!!! LOOK AT HIM CHUG!!!!! YESSSS!!!!!! YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! HE DID IT!!!! O-M-G!!!!! I KNEW these guys would arrive early!!! These two guys are my BIGGEST fans!!!!! This is what the average Chronicles of Rico fan looks like!!! I love the fact that these guys show up early because they are just seething with irresistible sex appeal!!! IT’S ALWAYS A GREAT IDEA TO GET A PARTY STARTED ON A SEXY NOTE!!! I LOVE their loyalty, for IMMEDIATELY after hearing the news about my 100th post being posted, without hesitation, they both looked at each other and yelled at the same time, “LET’S CHUG SOME BEER!!!! LET’S RAGE FOR RICO!!!!! LET’S….FUCKING…..PARTY!!!!!!!” These guys are the epitome of cool. My fans…yeah, that is the cool shit right there, y’all!!!
HELL YEAH!!! THESE GUYS KNOW HOW TO PARTY!!! These guys are raging out hard core due to my 100th post! To those of you reading, take notes because this is how a Rico Swaff party goes down!!!! These guys have it down to a “T.” In fact, screw note-taking. Put down your pencil, bounce out of your seat and start DANCING!!! Start thrusting your hips and while doing so, repeatedly smack the ass of the person closest to you!!!! I don’t care who it is. I don’t care if you are standing near a freaking nun right now, SMACK her butt-cheeks and encourage her to smack someone’s ass herself!!!!!! STOP, DON’T RUN, LET’S HAVE SOME FUN AND SMACK SOME NUNS IN THE BUNS!!!!! WOOOOOOO-HOOOOOO!!!!!!! That’s how we ROLL, baby!!!! Now take your shirt off, lick your fingers and smack the nun’s ass like the shirtless man in this gif!!! HELLZ YEAH, GUYZZZZZZZ!!!!! WE’RE GETTIN’ DOWN, BABY!!!!
I think this guy becomes a little confused when he stumbles upon my site. He probably has no idea what he is looking at, but at least he appears interested!!!! Maybe it’s a cultural difference and this is this particular person’s way of partying hard… My guess is that he is staring at me in admiration, non-verbally signalling to me the words, “you did it! You hit 100 posts man!! I…adore you, Rico!!!” Well, I dig your style too, homeslice!!!
NO party is complete unless Mr. Wade Boggs showed up. And holy shit, when he heard my 100th post was posted, WADE BOGGS SHOWED UP!!!! And as you can see, he is feeling it!!! WADE BOGGS IS HERE TO PARTY, Y’ALL!!!! Everyone, COME GET SOME WITH WADE BOGGS!!! LET’S DO THIS!!! LET’S PARTY!!!
Most of you may know that I am a HUGE Kansas City Chiefs fan. With that said, I was super excited when I heard they were so pumped about my 100th post that they decided to perform a group celebration. Everything was going well until Matt Cassel (#7) had to jump in and ruin things like he does everything else! What a dipshit! Not only does Matt Cassel SUCK at playing QB, he also sucks at PARTYIN!!!!!!
It’s all good!!! The Chiefs later made up for Matt Cassel’s lack of ability to do anything correctly, by performing the coolest group celebration dance ever!!!! 100 POSTS BABY!!!! THEIR PUMPED!!!! The Chiefs are feeling this!!!! I’M STOKED!!!!!!!
You know who partied hard on this special occasion?!?!?! This, goofy-ass, curly-haired bastard right here. This guy knows how to PARTY, RICO STYLE BABY!!!! IF YOU AREN’T AS ENTHUSIASTIC AS THIS CAT RIGHT HERE, THAN YOU BETTER STEP IT UP BECAUSE THIS GUY KNOWS WUSSUP, Y’ALL!!!!!!!
When my mom and dad caught wind of my 100th post, they were both like, “you know, today, I’m actually pretty proud of that douche-bag of a son we have!!! LET’S GO OUT AND PARTY ALLLLLLL NIGHT LOOOONNNGGG!!!! RICO STYLE, BABY!!!”
Poff partied pretty hard and passed out early. However, he went down with dignity and style, because he partied hard all night the right way, RICO STYLE, BABY!!!!
Then my wife, Krystal showed up and was like, “DUUUUUDE, THIS PARTY IS AWESOME!!!! THIS PARTY IS JUST INSANE, DUDE!!!! JUST WHEN I THOUGHT YOU COULDN’T GET ANY MORE AWESOME, YOU SHOW ME HOW TO PARTY RICO-STYLE AND DUDE…PARTYING RICO STYLE IS AWESOME, DUDE!!!!!” Guess who got laid that night…. you guessed it, Rico did.
It’s not too hard to believe that Rick drank too much cough syrup and passed out with his wiener hanging out of his shorts, but I applaud him for “Rico-raging!!!” WAY TO GO, RICK!!!!
I partied a bit too hard myself. I partied so hard that I ended up pissing myself. That’s not cool, but you know what is?! THIS PARTY!!!! THIS PARTY WAS FREAKIN’ HOPPIN’ MAN!!!!!!! THANKS FOR RAGING WITH US!!!!
* Haha…I can’t believe I’ve written 100 of these damn things.
* Seriously, thanks to all who have visited and enjoyed this page. I realize there are probably people who think I am ridiculous for doing what I do by maintaining this site, but there seems to be more people who have informed me (unprovoked) that they have visited this page several times and laughed their asses off. Honestly, it bothers me that some people may think I’m an idiot (I shouldn’t care, but I do), HOWEVER…making the people who like the site laugh totally outweighs my haters’ disdain for me. I like those people better anyways, so I’m gonna keep on rolling with this for now. Maybe I can hit 200!!! Thanks a ton..you know who you are.