404 Rick the Mullet Man's Finishing Move in Wrestling | The Chronicles of Rico
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The Trailer Trash Tranquilizer

Rick “The Mullet Man” Suave is a fighter. He has always been a fighter.  In Rick’s mind, he has to be one in order to succeed.  As Rick personally mentioned in “Merry Christmas from Rick and Roxy Suave,” Rick beats up little kids around his neighborhood on a daily basis.  He does this for 2 reasons; 1.) So he can collect their lunch money and pay his lot rent and 2.) So he can improve his wrestling skills so he can one day accomplish his dream of wrestling in the WWE. Therefore, beating up little kids on a regular basis has been beneficial for Rick financially and in terms of his career.

Over the years, Rick has perfected both a special move and a finishing move.  His special move is called, the “Loins of Tenderness.”  This move involves Rick squeezing his opponent’s head with his loins as he pounds on their spine like a rabid gorilla until the opponent loses a large percentage of their stamina. If someone is to find themselves caught in the clenches of the “Loins of Tenderness,” they are screwed.  However, the “Loins of Tenderness” is like playing patty-cake compared to his lethal finishing move, the “Trailer Trash Tranquilizer.” 

In order to successfully perform the “Trailer Trash Tranquilizer,” Rick cradles his opponent’s head near his B.O. infested armpit while he simultaneously clenches his opponent’s upper-arm on the opposite side, limiting their movement.  While Rick maintains his opponent in this position, he then procedes to punch his opponent repeatedly in the kidney.  The opponent then becomes tranquilized due to the amount of brutal blows they take to the kidney and the overwhelmingly nasty stench in Rick’s armpit.

 Here is an example of a typical day at work for Rick “The Mullet Man” Suave….

tom green prepare impact

One night a couple of little boys walked by Rick "The Mullet Man" Suave's shed. One boy was carrying Tom Green's "Prepare for Impact" CD. The other boy was carrying the movie, "Freddy Got Fingered."

crazy mullet man

Rick "The Mullet Man" Suave is a huge Tom Green fan. Not to mention he is in desperate need of money. Lot rent is due in a couple days. Therefore he decided to attack the boys in an attempt to rob them for everything they had in their possession. Here he is punching the boy who is holding the "Freddy Got Fingered" DVD.

mullet beats up kids

Rick knocked the first boy out with one punch. He then put the other boy in his finishing move, the "TRAILER TRASH TRANQUILIZER!"

stolen cd

After beating the crap out of the 2 kids, Rick was so excited to have scored Tom Green's "Prepare for Impact" CD and the Freddy Got Fingered DVD that he could barely contain himself. If you look closely at his right hand, you will notice a dollar bill. Rick scored that as well. He is now $1 closer to paying his lot fees. Great success!

freddy got fingered

Rick "The Mullet Man" Suave was pissed off when he couldn't figure out how to get his "Freddy Got Fingered" DVD to work in his VCR.

jeep car stereo

Rick was even more pissed off when his "Prepare for Impact" CD wouldn't work in his vehicle's stereo. It would help if he had more than loose wires in his stereo system. What a dipshit.

mullet wrestler

Rick "The Mullet Man" Suave has been performing the "Trailer Trash Tranquilizer" since he was a young boy. Here he is performing the "Trailer Trash Tranquilizer" on a kid who walked by the horse trailer he was living in at the time.