Rick “The Mullet Man” Suave is a fighter. He has always been a fighter. In Rick’s mind, he has to be one in order to succeed. As Rick personally mentioned in “Merry Christmas from Rick and Roxy Suave,” Rick beats up little kids around his neighborhood on a daily basis. He does this for 2 reasons; 1.) So he can collect their lunch money and pay his lot rent and 2.) So he can improve his wrestling skills so he can one day accomplish his dream of wrestling in the WWE. Therefore, beating up little kids on a regular basis has been beneficial for Rick financially and in terms of his career.
Over the years, Rick has perfected both a special move and a finishing move. His special move is called, the “Loins of Tenderness.” This move involves Rick squeezing his opponent’s head with his loins as he pounds on their spine like a rabid gorilla until the opponent loses a large percentage of their stamina. If someone is to find themselves caught in the clenches of the “Loins of Tenderness,” they are screwed. However, the “Loins of Tenderness” is like playing patty-cake compared to his lethal finishing move, the “Trailer Trash Tranquilizer.”
In order to successfully perform the “Trailer Trash Tranquilizer,” Rick cradles his opponent’s head near his B.O. infested armpit while he simultaneously clenches his opponent’s upper-arm on the opposite side, limiting their movement. While Rick maintains his opponent in this position, he then procedes to punch his opponent repeatedly in the kidney. The opponent then becomes tranquilized due to the amount of brutal blows they take to the kidney and the overwhelmingly nasty stench in Rick’s armpit.
Here is an example of a typical day at work for Rick “The Mullet Man” Suave….